What Every Mom Needs to Know About Surrogacy

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Surrogacy is a path to parenthood that many moms are exploring today. Whether you’re unable to carry a child or you’re expanding your family in a unique way, surrogacy offers a viable option. Understanding the intricacies of surrogacy can help you make informed decisions and prepare you for the journey ahead. This blog will guide you through the essentials every mom needs to know about surrogacy, from the different types to the emotional and financial considerations.

Types of Surrogacy

Surrogacy comes in two main forms: traditional and gestational.

Traditional Surrogacy: In this type, the surrogate uses her own egg, making her the biological mother of the child. The sperm is provided by the intended father or a donor. This method is less common today due to the emotional and legal complexities involved.

Gestational Surrogacy: This is the more popular option where the surrogate has no genetic link to the child. An embryo created using the intended parents’ or donors’ egg and sperm is implanted into the surrogate’s uterus. This method is favored for its clear legal boundaries and emotional separation.

The Surrogacy Process

The journey of surrogacy involves several key steps.

Initial Consultation and Matching: The process typically starts with a consultation at a surrogacy agency or fertility clinic. Here, you discuss your needs, preferences, and medical history. After this, you’ll be matched with a surrogate who aligns with your values and expectations.

Medical Procedures: The medical aspect begins with screening and preparing both the surrogate and the intended parents. This involves hormone treatments to synchronize cycles and ensure the surrogate’s uterus is ready for embryo transfer. The embryo transfer is a critical step, followed by careful monitoring to confirm pregnancy.

Legal Considerations: Surrogacy involves complex legalities to ensure the rights of all parties are protected. Contracts are drawn up to outline the responsibilities, financial arrangements, and expectations. This step is crucial to prevent disputes and ensure a smooth process.

Emotional Aspects of Surrogacy

The emotional journey of surrogacy can be profound for all involved.

Emotional Journey for the Intended Parents: As intended parents, you’ll experience a rollercoaster of emotions. The excitement of creating your family is often mixed with anxiety and hope. It’s important to be prepared for these feelings and seek support when needed.

Relationship with the Surrogate: Building a healthy relationship with your surrogate is essential. Open communication, mutual respect, and clear boundaries help foster a positive experience. Many intended parents find that forming a bond with their surrogate enhances the journey.

Coping with the Waiting Period: The period from embryo transfer to pregnancy confirmation can be especially challenging. Staying busy, joining support groups, and maintaining a positive outlook can help manage the stress during this time.

Financial Considerations

Surrogacy can be a significant financial investment, but understanding the costs and exploring your options can make it more manageable.

Breakdown of Costs: The costs associated with surrogacy include medical expenses, legal fees, agency fees, and compensation for the surrogate. On average, surrogacy can range from $90,000 to $150,000, depending on various factors.

Options for Financial Assistance: Several options can help mitigate the costs. Some insurance plans may cover parts of the surrogacy process. Additionally, there are grants, loans, and fundraising opportunities specifically designed to assist with surrogacy expenses.

Support and Resources

Navigating surrogacy is much easier with the right support and resources.

Finding Support Groups and Counseling: Joining support groups, either in-person or online, can provide emotional support and practical advice. Counseling services, for both intended parents and surrogates, can also be invaluable throughout the process.

Online Resources and Communities: There are numerous online communities and resources dedicated to surrogacy. Websites, forums, and social media groups offer a wealth of information and a sense of community, connecting you with others who understand your journey.


Surrogacy is a deeply personal and rewarding journey that can bring immense joy to your family. By understanding the different types, the process involved, and the emotional and financial considerations, you can navigate this path with confidence and clarity. Remember, you’re not alone—there are many resources and supportive communities available to help you every step of the way. Whether you’re just starting to explore surrogacy or are well into the journey, knowing what to expect can make all the difference.


Dusty is the owner and editor of As Mom Sees It, a product review and family matters blog. She is the mother of two in Ohio and has partnered with companies like Nike, Verizon, Kingston Technology. You can find her on Twitter at @AsMomSeesIt.